Our Elemental Make-up
(Or : Our Sister married a Troll)
Why, I ask you, should we strive to
be in complete elemental balance? I've never understood that. If we were all balanced,
we'd be boring as hell. Our elemental differences are what make us unique. It's why I'm a
"firebug" and my best friend is a "Tree" (sorry Ariel). I've never
thought that we should seek to be balanced, or that we should deny what we are in order to
serve adequately. If anything, it is more important to simply embrace what you are,
whether it be Earth, Air, Fire, or Water.
It all has to do with primary and secondary elements. We all have a little of each element within us, otherwise we wouldn't be here; it's knowing how to make what we have work for the positive, and not letting our negative habits take the upper hand.
Me? Well, I've already told you that my primary is Fire. Positively, I'm a loyal friend and confidant, I'm protective of who and what I love, and for the most part, I'm passionate about my work. The negative? Well, it's mostly my temper. I have a tendency to be a bit fierce.
My secondary is Water (I didn't pick it, it just happened that way). Water intensifies everything. It has a tendency to add the word "too" to everything. I've been accused of loving "too" much, of being "too" loyal, and of being "too" passionate (if there is such a thing).
As for the other two elements: Earth-wise, I handle all of the financial workings of my household. I'm pretty practical when it comes to cashflow and the like. Air... well that gave me my artistic ability: I paint, I write,and I teach. Unfortunately, it also made me a bit of a gossip (though that might just be the female gene), and I can be a little flighty at times.
Ariel is primary Earth. She's the practical one of the Clan, with just about everything (except men...which I'll explain in a moment). She's about as Anti-Fire as one can get, (until you rub her the wrong way). She's mellow, "businessy", and quite blunt. Her secondary is Water, which makes her a bit of a sap in the romance department (I love you, sis), but it gives her the ability to love and to see people for what they really are. She doesn't entirely lack Air, but it's mostly the gossip factor.
Now allow me to explain what happens when you deny what you are.
We used to be four: Moonspinner (Ariel), Moondragon (my dear friend) and I, yet our beautiful sister, Zana Moonshaper (yes, there is a pattern with the names), left us about four years ago. We called her "the Fairy Queen" because she was Earth and Air. She was my equal and my opposite. She quenched the fires that, at that time, raged out of control within me. She made us what we are today.
Zana gave Ariel her independence, seeing her as more of a loner than as one of us (which I suppose she was at the time), and I think it helped Ariel to see people more clearly. She helped bring out the beauty in Moondragon when we thought there was none. In any case, Zana was the most perfect person we knew: Beautiful, intelligent, caring and endlessly patient. She led me to Wicca and true happiness.
Tragically, Zana was a confused child. She wanted nothing more than to be loved. She confused her elements and tried as hard as she could to deny that Fire was any part of her. Earth made her "Grounded", Air made her artistic and intelligent, Water made her caring... yet her constant denial of the fire caused her downfall.
Ariel, who, as I have said, is
rather blunt, has called Zana "Elementally Dysfunctional". It may sound cruel,
but you must understand that we stood hopelessy by and watched as our dear sister changed
from good and kind to heartless and materialistic over the course of only six months. Zana
lacked what Fire lends to all of the other elements: She had no personal strength. She
needed someone else to make her feel strong. She seemed strong to us because of her
intelligence, yet she lacked common sence. She seemed loyal because she loved us but she
lacked the knowledge of the true concept of loyalty. She seemed to be a leader because we
drew our strength from her, yet she lacked the ability to lead.
Her elements shifted wildly, trying to compensate for the lack of Fire within her. She became moody, obsessive and materialistic. She began to seek out those who were far more Fire than even myself; those that radiate the negative more than the positive. She confused sex for love, material well-being for personal happiness and control for caring.
Here is where I would have placed the Sub-title... My sister married a Troll. It sounds bad, but we see people as descendants of the Fay folk (elves, fairies, trolls, imps...) and "Troll" is the best way to describe him. Zana moved away from the only home she had ever known, disowned her friends and family, gave up her hopes of becoming an Archaeologist/Anthropologist, and worst of all she gave up her faith. All of these to please a man that she admittedly did not love, yet still married.
Now I must make one thing perfectly
clear... I loved my sister deeply. Anyone who understands the concept of love can see the
kind of pain that this has brought to me and my kin (i.e. Ariel and Moondragon). A coven
should be more about balance of forces than about like minded worship, and our coven
stands incomplete to this day. Though we welcome new members to the fold (there are others
besides us three) we will never be complete until our sister returns. Only then will we
cease to worry. Zana has been my sister for many lives in both blood and friendship. We
(The Clan) have neither seen nor spoken to her since before the birth of her daughter,
Noel, in December of 1994, because she is forbidden to have any contact with us.
I wanted to put this story on the net so that others could see the importance of accepting oneself, and also to share my views on the elements. I am currently trying to publish my works, but will gladly share my theories with any interested parties.
I thank you for taking the time to
read the ramblings of a "Firebug" like me and hope that you will respond and
tell me what you think.
Merry met and Merry part.
Blessed Be, Vaia Moonshadow